Another Word for "Single"

The word "single" is no way to define a person, even if he or she is single.

Single is a word that now swims in the same negative connotation pool as fat. It implies a sad state of being that begs for the opposite, like taken, in a relationship or married. Just as calling oneself big boned does nothing for the self esteem, there seems to be no good alternative to "single." That is why we should not be defined by our social state. It is very hard to do since Nicolas Sparks will not quit his day job, and unless you hide it, Facebook declares to everyone you know whether or not you are seeing someone. I would say put away the romantic books and movies, but sometimes they are as much a necessary guilty pleasure as chocolate and pedicures. It is important, though, to be aware of reality.

"Are you seeing anyone?"

Ugh. A question I would rather not be asked (unless Daniel Craig himself was asking me so that he could make a move). If I was catching up with friends this question would not bother me so much, but from family? Dreadful. Colleagues? Dreadful. Strangers you have no romantic interest in? Dreadful. New people at a party? Dreadful. Why is this a go-to question? Do we suck that much when it comes to conversation?


ALTERNATIVE QUESTIONS:
"How is life treating you?"
"You look really happy! What's your secret?"
[Mention what cool thing you have done lately. Then ask] "Have you been doing anything fun lately? What keeps you busy?"

So, what to do if someone asks you "How is your love life?" A normal body of conversation is usually diseased with this question. I prefer to reply with what I have going on. For example, "I have been keeping busy with finishing my doctorate and I recently got a job with a university. My dog has gotten really big and I have to run him all of the time to wear him out so I am getting really great exercise. With school winding down I have had more time to do some writing and reading books, like Vonnegut novels. I am pretty happy." Generally, one of these things I say will derail the conversation. If this person is defiant on a specific answer I would make it a point to make that person feel like an ass. Harsh, I know.

ALTERNATIVES TO THE RESPONSE: SINGLE
"I'm happy."
"I am a busy person."
"I'm involved in my community."
"I'm having fun with my friends/family/pets."
"I'm traveling a lot and living an adventurous life."
"I'm taking a class in [fill in the blank]"
"I'm writing a blog about this very thing."

One other thing that gets rubbed in our faces: Celebrations of being in a relationship. There is only one counter attack, you must celebrate yourself. Celebrate NOT being in a complacent, controlling or abusive relationship. Throw a party for 6 months free of codependency. Invite your friends to a bar for cocktails celebrating however many hours of community service you did. Knock yourself out celebrating whatever for whatever! Celebrations are not just for couples.

Coupledom and marriage is not the be all and end all for living the best life possible. You life should be great without someone else in it. It requires the same kind of effort we all used to put into making ourselves look nice for our potential significant others. How did we used to be so lame? No matter.

Some people don't have a problem with defining themselves as single. Truthfully, I don't have a problem with the term as much as I have a problem with what people may assume about me when I say I am single. I guess I went on this rant because of a conversation I had with a friend earlier today. We both happened to reach a point in our lives where we finally think, "I just don't give a shit." What's wrong with that? I'm a girl who has a great life. I look great, I feel great, I'm constantly surrounded by people I love and there is always something fun and exciting or tranquil and relaxing to do. The rest of my life could go on like this and I would be okay with that. This is a great place to be.

Authentically: Complete