Eat, Drink and Be Married?

I have been with my current boyfriend for about 5 months now. He's cuter, sweeter and better in bed than my last boyfriend. Yet, I am uneasy about something. It seems that the sooner a guy jumps into dating you after his last relationship, the quicker he is likely to say "I love you." We say "I love you" all of the time and I am pretty sure he wants to marry me. At least that is what he says. I am pretty sure he believes what he says too. I'm glad I am in his life to teach him better than that.


I have been harassed by relatives about settling down for a month now. Why is marriage the goal? What is the big damn deal and what is the rush? What about being happy? In my mind happiness transcends simply being with someone else. Sure, finding the right life-long partner sounds great, but how do you know it will actually be life-long? How do you know you will actually be happy with this person? Isn't it worth the wait to find out how you work with your boyfriend or girlfriend, to be sure that you will have a marriage that actually stays strong through all of life's many trials?

I would like to see what my boyfriend is like after all of the initial gushy, lovey-dovey behavior has faded. Don't get me wrong, I love it. I love the insane amount of sex we have and I love how he thinks I am the greatest and most beautiful girl in the world. He takes me out and treats me like a queen. I would LOVE for this behavior to continue forever, what girl wouldn't wish for that? The reality is, not many couples stay in the honeymoon phase. Hell, not many couples have that much sex. So what am I waiting for?

Fight!

The beautiful thing about fighting is the opportunity afterward for compromise, humility, forgiveness and sacrifice. You get to see how your significant other settles conflict, you get to find out what kind of communication happens. Don't get me wrong, I do not go looking for fights and I actually hate them, but in the hopefully rare times I disagree or fight with my boyfriend I see a real side of him. Sometimes it is he who sees a real side of me. Apologies are said, compromises are made and sometimes it is as simple as bad timing. If we still love each other after hating each other's guts (temporarily), then I know I have a winner.

I want to work to build a strong relationship with my boyfriend and this act of "building" takes time. How long? Who knows, it may take a few years but if we ever decide to say "I do," I will be confident knowing he and I did our research. Since I cannot predict the future or the "work" ahead, I do not see the point in picturing us walking down the aisle, feeding each other a wedding cake, or going on a honeymoon to Barbados.

Authentically: Realistic