I am not a morning person, and much like one who does not wish to get out of bed, I remain in bed with my laptop propped over my bent knees. This laptop feels like new, I just got it fixed at the local Geek Squad after it had been terminal for the last three months. When I looked to see if all of my photo files had remained from the massive removal of viruses, I came across a folder of pictures of me and my ex-boyfriend.
It was a ghostly experience, almost as if none of these events in the photos actually happened in real life. I tried to imagine his arm around me, his touch...but I couldn't feel it. I tried to imagine the genuine joy I was experiencing in those images, I couldn't remember it. How interesting...
Have you ever erased a file on your computer even though the shortcut remained on your desktop? What happens when you click on it? The screen flashes "File not found." Apparently, that is what my mind has done. All the things I held onto that made this breakup so hard has been thrown into the recycle bin. I couldn't be happier that my mind has this feature. That Twitter link I clicked on that disabled my laptop for three months wound up being a blessing.
I immediately erased all of his pictures off of my media drive. I think one of the most beautiful things about taking photos is to be able to recall an experience in my senses and my emotions. I can smell the apple pie I baked just by looking at the photo I took of it. I remember the feel of the monkey bars I used to swing from as a child in the photo my dad took. What is a captured image if it is missing its essence?
Authentically: Vacant
No comments:
Post a Comment